about two years ago, i was gearing up for graduation. four and a half years of overpriced education was finally coming to an end. i was both excited and anxious as i reluctantly reached out to shake the chancellor's hand and receive my diploma (holder). i would be free from 18 credit semesters. but the comfort of my home in eau claire would be no more. other than a trip to nicaragua and what i thought would be a temporary move to alaska, i had no idea what was in store. i anxiously approached january 2016. it was then that i began my journey into ambiguity. however, God continued my story. the story He had planned for me since the beginning of time.
i wanted to move to alaska when i was in the fifth grade but deemed it impractical. obviously the Lord didn't deem it impractical, because here i am now. He knew that my final semester of school would enable me to connect with a three week class in nicaragua. He knew that on that trip, i would be able to share my testimony with a group of missionaries...in spanish. He knew that that would be what i needed to persevere through what was ahead of me; to see and understand how He is working across borders. how He loves all people of all backgrounds. He knew that i would carry that moment in my heart and use it as a catalyst to continue to grow in my faith once i moved to juneau. He knew that my continued sin would cause me to break more and more, causing me to press into Him more and more. He knew that i would begin to seek relationships in the body, connecting me to an incredible group of people in the church. a group of people who encourage and challenge me. a group whom i can bring my struggles to light and rejoice in the goodness of His provision with. He knew that Calvary Fellowship would send a team of five individuals to nicaragua this winter. He knew that my heart would approach the opportunity impulsively, and then prayerfully. He knew that i would be returning to such an incredible place, but this time, for His Kingdom's sake.
"for you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. i praise you for i am fearfully and wonderfully made. wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. my frame was not hidden from you, when i was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book, were written every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." [psalm 139:13-16 esv]
i wish i could put this more eloquently, but HE FREAKING KNEW ALL ALONG. my story has never been ambiguous to God. He has been intentional and purposeful. he is the author and finisher of our faith (hebrews 12:2). so with all of that said, God is good and we have so much to be thankful for. personally, i am so humbled to be a daughter of the King. despite my imperfections and constant battle between flesh and spirit, He has chosen me. and He has chosen YOU. with christmas just around the corner, rejoice in this! and remember what it is that you are celebrating: the birth of Jesus Christ. through Him, we have life eternal! He is our light; an end to the dark hallways we may find ourselves in.
this winter, to celebrate Jesus, i will be going to nicaragua with seven others from church. we'll be travelling to communities near managua. throughout our visits, we'll be handing out school supplies and toys. i'm most looking forward to the conversations i'll be able to have with the individuals we cross paths with. even though it may be brief, i will have an opportunity to be a part of their lives. an opportunity to hear their stories and share my story. a story centered around God and my growing relationship with Jesus.
with only a few more weeks of preparation, i am praying that my heart is right with the Lord before going out. that my focus is on
Him, and not the chaotic distractions around me. i want to be in step with His desire for this trip, rather than my own. i am praying against my own pride and preconceived notions of what the trip could look like. as He continues to pave the way for us, may we remember that His plan for us down there is so much better than what our idea of it is. it may be ambiguous for us, but for Him, it is so clear. I am so excited to see what He does!
if you are able to join me in prayer, that would be so appreciated! i'm also hoping to raise some dollars as i venture out. i know it's only two weeks away, my own pride was getting in the way of me asking for money. but it would seriously help. a lot. money will go towards airfare, lodging, transportation, additional supplies we may need while down there, etc. total trip cost is about $1600 but i'm asking for help in raising $500. you can donate at my (basic) GoFundMe page: https://www.gofundme.com/tjcsq8-nicaragua
ANYWAYS, the monetary plea has been my least favorite part of this post. per usual, thank you for reading and supporting me wherever you may be. i will try to write once more before we leave and perhaps update occasionally while out on the field. otherwise, you may hear from me again in january!
MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS!!!
xoxo
-A