having had recently turned (whispers) t h i r t y (gasp) i feel like i need to have something profound to say about entering into a new era. like, i'm to have had gained profound wisdom from my twenties that will carry me forward into a decade of thirty, flirty, and thriving.
there's a lot to reflect on from the last 10 years. when i turned 20 in 2013, i was attending college at eau claire and probably on my fourth degree change. i thought that my happiness was going to be found in teaching seventh grade math at a spanish immersion school, after volunteering for the peace corps, and then spending my summers traveling abroad. i assumed that by 30, i would be married with kids. maybe we'd have a pet llama. living my best midwest life.
my reality is nowhere near what 20 year old me dreamed it to be. i found a relationship with Jesus. i work in an industry that fights against human trafficking. i live in what i believe to be one of the most beautiful places. i've experienced heartbreak. i'm navigating the awkward world of dating. i have travelled. i fell in love with donut photography. i have found happiness in the whimsical journey to get to this reality.
i was really anxious about entering this new era. i didn't know how or if people's expectations of me would change. i feel like my life needs to be "in order" and i'm nowhere near that -- but what does that mean for me? it is in order! it just looks different than it does for others. and i love that. turning thirty, in my brain, meant turning fifty. which obviously is dramatic of me. i also was kind of sad because i thought about elementary and middle school me: someone who was bullied, insecure, and trying to prove herself. she's still in there but she would be so proud of who she has become.
her favorite color is still orange. her favorite animal is still a cow. she still loves to mix patterns and colors in her fashion. she is still close to her childhood bestie who lived across the street growing up. honeycombs are still her favorite cereal. she still loves bad jokes. she misses her childhood pets (rest in peace). her evil laugh is still the same. she is still dreaming and scheming. high school musical is still one of her favorite soundtracks. napoleon dynamite is still her favorite movie. chunky monkey is still her favorite ben and jerry's flavor. she is still awkward. she still deeply values creativity. the difference: she is more confident and more certain. (teared up a little writing all that out)
now that i'm about a month into this new age, i'm excited! i know it won't be easy but to be honest my twenties were nowhere near easy. it's a chapter i'll selectively go back and reflect on. there are pages i'll skip and pages i'll read. it all has a purpose and has lead me to here. the mistakes have been learning experiences. the things i got "right" have been learning experiences.
here's some insight into the last month.
woah. for my birthday, my friends came around and celebrated me with a dinosaur themed birthday party and (surprise) floor seats to see taylor swift in glendale (i am still recovering from that concert). i'm blown away by everyone's checkins, happy birthday wishes, celebrations, and love. being able to sit with the people i love most and walk with them in their valleys and mountaintops is such an honor. it's a privilege. and for them to step into that with me makes me go "woah".
yikes. once the calendar flipped to march 18, 2023 i feel like God turned up my life to turbospeed. things finally seem to be falling into place -- i am falling into place. i am free from some of the strongholds that crippled me. i have a niece. i'm excited about my work (like opening a coffee shop this fall). i'm trusting Jesus in ways i hadn't.
ice-cream. need i say more? the bad days, like my car breaking down on the highway this wek, i get ice-cream. the good days, like spending time with your besties, i get ice-cream. the average days, like responding to all my emails, i get ice-cream. taste and see that ice-cream is good. i think that's in scripture? or maybe it's "taste and see that the Lord is good" (psalm 34:8). but, He is good. all days.
woah. yikes. ice-cream.
xoxo
-A
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